Rock in the storm

THE WAR

We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.” Ps. 20:5       

                  He is my Deliverer and He is standing by.  The battle belongs to Him.  He will fight and He will win.  God gives the victory.  Always.  I will fly the banner of victory in His name. He has victory.  Always.  He is my Deliverer.  He saves.  He is standing by.

            I have been in a war zone.  I feel as if I have fought many battles.  I’m tired, worn out, wounded in spirit and a bit shaky in body.  However I am standing.  I am on my feet and standing upright.  My eyes are on the Lord, my Commander in Chief, my Deliverer.  The skirmishes are coming farther apart and are less intensive.  The enemy is retreating in the face of the great army I have at my forefront and the many hosts of angels who have my back.

             I would like to take you back to the battle field and to some of the many skirmishes, struggles and yes, victories that I have gone through in the last 8 months since my son’s death.

 “Through the victories You gave, my glory is great.  You have bestowed on me splendor and majesty.  Surely you have granted me eternal blessings and made me glad with the joy of Your presence.  For I trust in the Lord.  Through the unfailing love of the Most High I will not be shaken!” (From Ps. 21:5-7)

First Strike

 “As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  When can I go an meet with God?” Ps. 42:1

         Where are you God?  My soul pants for You, O my God as the thirsty deer pants for the water.  My soul thirst for my God to be near.  When will I feel Your presence with me, O precious Lord?

            The sadness comes upon me and bears me down so I stagger and fall.  The tears flow all day long and into the night.  Where are you O Lord?  Why have you forgotten me?

            God my rock why have you forsaken me?  Why is this sorrow heavy upon me? Why does it feel as if my bones are breaking and you are no where near?

            I remember in past times when God helped me and lifted me above the waters of sorrow.  How he healed my broken heart and filled my life with His love.  I looked at His creation and saw the Creator’s glory, power and might.  I saw His loving kindness in all things, through all things and felt His love in my soul.  At night when sleep would not come God’s song was with me as I talked to Him in the darkness and His light filled my mind. 

            Yet, now, why did you allow this terrible tragedy in my life?  Why are my Grandkids without their father?  Why, O God have you let this evil in our lives? 

            You are my God, my strength, my hope so why have You cast me away to let the enemy trample me?  Where are You O my God?  My soul searches for you but in the darkness I cannot find you.  The night is as black as ink and the heaviness of horror and evil surrounds me like a dense fog.  I can not stand.  I can not breathe. I am blind and cannot see where to go.   How my God, can I live?

            In the storm tossed sea I fight to stay above the waves.  I hang on for dear life lest a mighty wave sweep me overboard.  The tempest swamps over my head and I strain to see in the dark.  I fear my boat will strike a rock and cause another great collision and shock in my life.  Where are You oh, my God, my Shelter, my Deliverer?

            Suddenly in the dark storm I see a prick of light.  A star?  No a beacon shining in the distance, piercing the dense fog.  A bright beam breaks forth from the Lighthouse gleaming on the black waves, illuminating the path, pushing back the darkness.  God’s light for He is light and there is no darkness in Him.  God’s light leads me to His truth, His word, and His promises.  God’s truth leads me to Him. He is all I need.  He is the Light of my life.

 “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” Ps. 42:11   

My Ammo

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me, let them bring me to your Holy mountain to the place where you dwell.” Ps. 43:3

            I see Your beacon, Lord.   I march in Your path.  I come to Your presence.  I bask in Your light.  I fight with Your truth.

            Your truth is: “I will never leave you or forsake you”. Josh. 1:1  

            “The Lord is my light and my Salvation.  Whom or what shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life.  Of whom shall I be afraid?  When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.  Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear.  Though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. 

            One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek, above all else, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.  So I can gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek Him in His temple.

            For in the day of trouble HHe will keep me safe in His dwelling, He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a Rock.” (From Ps. 27:1-5)

            “You are my hiding place.  You shall preserve me from trouble.  You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.” Ps. 32:7

            “They looked to Him and were radiant and their faces were not ashamed, or afraid.  The poor man cried out and the Lord heard him and saved him of all his troubles.  The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him and delivers them. 

            The young lions lack and suffer hunger but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

            The righteous cry out and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

            A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all eventually.”  (from Ps. 34

            “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm. Though he stumble he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Ps.37:23-24

            “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”  Ps. 40:2-3

            His truth is: He will not leave me ever. He is my hiding place, my shelter, my high tower of safety.  He will preserve me and he will keep me from evil.  Oh trouble will come for without trials and tribulations I would not grow, but He will always deliver.  In the midst of the trials He gives a song. 

            When enemies come against me, they will fall.  He fights my battles and He will have the victory.  Though much sorrow surrounds me, I need not fear for the angels of the Lord are all around and they will not allow anything to get through to me that God does not want me to have. 

            God heals me when I cry to Him.  He lifts me above my sorrow.  He gives light in the darkness.  He gives me all good things.  I shall lack nothing.  All that He allows to come upon me is for my good even if it does not seem so. 

            When I focus on Him my face is radiant. The garment of praise will lift the heaviness.  Joy come in the midst of grief.  He is my joy, peace flows from His throne to my heart.  The Lord is my light.  He is my strength.  I should not fear.  God is with me always.  He is with me.  He saves.  He delivers.

            God has not left me, His presence is with me every minute of every day.  Forever and ever. This is what I know not what I feel.  This is the truth.  The truth is where I go when I feel overwhelmed. What I believe when I feel cast down and forgotten.  The ammunition I use when I am besieged. 

            When my soul is cast down, when I feel you are far away I will trust you oh my God.  I will praise you, I will sing a song of praise for You, my precious Lord are my exceeding joy.  You makes me smile. I will be still and I will know you are my God.

From Ps. 42 and 43