GLORY’S SIDE

            Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.  Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 

            Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.  We would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.”  2 Cor. 5:1, 5-8

            The pain comes in waves, washing over me, tumbling me, pushing me to the ground.  Sometimes I can ride them out but this wave was intense threatening to drown me.  I was crying and hashing things out with my Lord, feeling the void, the emptiness left in my life with the loss of my son.  My only child.  I was comparing that loss with the loss of my husband many years ago.  Then I had been totally lost and terribly lonely.  Now I’m not lonely since I have John, but I am bereaved.  I have lost one of the greatest things in my life and it feels as if a limb has been ripped off.

            When I lost Jim I felt like deeply embedded roots in my heart were being ripped painfully out, now I feel like a large part of my heart has been torn away.  The bonds between a parent and child are so strong they are a part of our very being.  Not grafted in they have grown there from that child’s birth.  For me it was almost 34 years Stephen was a part of me, flesh of my flesh, like an arm or leg.  When that was cut off, when that bond was broken, I couldn’t believe the void it leaves.  Like phantom pain in an amputated leg, I still feel as if he is here with us. 

            That’s when it happened.  I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and I reached for the cup on the sink.  Suddenly my mind was filled with a voice I had heard many times before, nudging, whispering, but this time it was almost audible and so intense I froze as a statue.  The words poured into my mind so fast I could barely take them in.

            “The limb is NOT cut off,” the powerful voice said, “the bonds are not broken.  Your son is still your son and will be forever and ever.”  The words continued the voice so full of authority and yet compassion I had no doubt who was speaking.  “For eternity you will have that bond of mother and son.  Everyone loves much on this side.  All relationships are close, but your son will always be your son, flesh of your flesh.  You will always be his mother. 

            Now he loves you with no restraints, no restrictions, no encumbrances as it is on this side.  Some day you will be with him and you will have sweet communion with him forever and ever.”

            And ever and ever.  The words echoed in my mind as I got a glimpse of the glory waiting us.  Not by sight, but the feelings, I can’t explain how I felt.  Unexplainable peace washed over me and great love filled my heart.  Boundless joy erupted in my soul and I could almost see my son standing beside me with a big smile on his face. 

            I opened my eyes like a person waking from a trance and was surprised to find my arm frozen in mid reach for the glass.  I’m not sure how long I stood there, might have been seconds, but it felt like long minutes. 

            I had known that Stephen would forever be my son, that the bonds are not broken, but now it was stamped on my heart like a brand.  Somehow, the great wound there in my heart was cauterized by the hope I received that night.

            Is this a comfort since he is still gone from my life on earth?  In the day-to-day living, in no phone calls, in no cheery voice, no smiling dimpled face, no I love you Mom, no bone crunching hugs, no kiss on the cheek, no camping or hunting adventures, no looking forward to exciting visits, in the lack of a face-to-face relationship with my son, NO it really does not help.  I still miss him.  I still long to hear his voice and see his face.  He is not there to help his kids grow into responsible adults.  The pain is still there and the ache may never go away. 

            But in the whole large spectrum of life, from the aspect of eternity, YES!  Oh yes it comforts indeed.  I find it hard to find the words to explain this.  My heart hurts still, but there is such hope.  God gave me a glimpse of eternity that night.  For a brief moment He opened the door to Heaven.  So I could sense and feel what is and what is to come.  On Glory’s side.

            It is amazing to me that God would speak so surely, so plainly so strongly and there is more.  Later I was sitting on the couch replaying in my mind that moment, the feelings more than the words, and God brought to my mind one more thing.

            I was picturing Stephen in Heaven with his dad beside him, and this thought came into my mind. 

            “You not only have Stephen in Heaven but there are two more sons.” 

            Two more sons!  Suddenly I remembered my miscarriages, two of them after Stephen was born and both in the first two months of pregnancy.  I had not thought of them in years, not even when I read the book “Heaven is For Real” whereColtonmeets his sister he did not even know he had since she had been miscarried.  My own miscarriages had not even entered my mind then.

            Three sons! Oh my!  Moreover, they are all with their father.  How happy they must be.  Stephen always wanted a brother, or a sister would have been okay.  Now he has two!  Do they look like him?  Maybe one has red hair. 

            I can imagine Jim’s smile as he stands amongst his grown sons.  I can feel Stephen’s wonder in the brothers he didn’t know he had and how happy he is to be with his dad once again.  I can see all of their joy when Jesus walks and talks with them.  I can feel their love and reverence when they kneel before the throne of their Father God.

            How I long to be there with my children.  Children!  I have children!  John will be there too along with Jim, my sons, Mom and Dad, Joyce and all my friends and family.  Everyone loving much.  No restraints, no restrictions, no earthly encumbrances, no jealousies, no guilt, no regrets, no bitterness.  We will love as God created us to love and be as God created us to be. In sweet communion.  Together forever and ever!

Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”  Rev. 21:3-5

Note:  Those of you, who know me, know this is not characteristic of me.  I am usually down to earth and practical thinking, not seeing visions or letting emotions run ramped.  That is one reason I know this was from God and of God.  It was a God moment.  And I am so thrilled and thankful He chose to let me see for a moment what it’s like on Glory’s side.

            I have one more thing I feel I should say:     There is much in this world to overcome.  Great trials, much hardships, terrible disappointments, overwhelming temptations, grave losses, but to those who overcome and follow God, to those who drink from the springs of His living water, to those who have washed their robes in the blood of Jesus, to those who believe in Jesus as the son of God who died for our sins, will be given the right to enter the gates of the city of God.      

 God says,  “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  To him who is thirsty I will give drink from the spring of the water of life.  He who overcomes will inherit all this (Glory, Heaven)  I will be his God and he will be My son.” Rev. 21:6-7

            Oh to be a daughter of the living, all mighty God forever and ever. And those bonds will never be broken! 

            Jesus says,

            “Behold I am coming soon!  My reward is with me and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

            Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.

            Outside are the dogs those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

            I, Jesus, am the Root, the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

            The Spirit and the Bride say, “COME!” And let him who hears say, “COME!”  Who ever is thirsty let him come.  Whoever desires let him take the free gift of the water of life.”  From Rev. 22:12-17

            Jesus says,

            “Here I am!  I stand at the door of your heart and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come in and eat with him and he with me.”   From Rev. 4:20

            The door only has one door knob.  That knob is on the inside.  Only you can open the door of your heart to Jesus.             

            Will you open the door?  Are your robes washed in the blood of the Lamb?  Do you believe Jesus is the son of God who died for your sins?  And rose again to have victory over death?  Come drink from the spring of life open the door and be saved.  COME!