His Love

Posted on March 23, 2015 by Wendy Kleker

 

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His Love Never Fails

Listen to this verse in Lamentations:

“He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out. He has made my chain heavy. Even when I cry and shout, He shuts out my prayer. He has blocked my ways with hewn stone. He has made my paths crooked.”

Life seems like that sometimes, right? Like we’re stuck, we can’t get out. Like God is far away and doesn’t hear out prayers. As if He’s blocked every way we’ve tried to go, and every path we walk is difficult and crooked.IMG_3105

Well how about this one?

“He has been to me a bear lying in wait, like a lion in ambush. He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces. He has made me desolate. He has bent His bow and set me up as a target for the arrow.” Lam. 3:7-12

Does that ring a bell? Do you ever feel like you’re a target for God’s arrows? Like He’s a lion waiting in ambush? That He has torn you in pieces and made you desolate?

Oh yes I have. Exactly that. I felt the arrows piece my heart. My life seemed desolate and my way was definitely crooked. Yet I must say, like the author of Lamentations, “Through the Lord’s mercies I was not consumed”.

I survived and I will survive again. Why?

“Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. “IMG_1910

His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me. Every single sunrise His love for me is new. Like the dawning of the ages when the earth was fresh and clean, perfect beyond imagination, and God came to earth to walk and talk with the first man. The best of His creation. The one made in His likeness, made for the very purpose of having a close relationship with the Creator.IMG_2759

So how can this be? You ask. That He loves us so, yet He pounces and tears and leaves us alone, dying? He pierces us with arrows of sorrow and grief, yet He loves us that much?

“Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that woe and well-being proceed?” (Lam. 3:38)

Who am I to question the High King of Heaven? Why should I complain? I who am living because of His will. And I who deserves grave punishment for sins, yet whose black heart has been washed white as snow by my Savior’s blood. Who am I to say the Ruler of All can not do such a thing?

Yet I have hope! For the Lord does not cast off forever! Though He causes grief, yet He will show compassion, according to the multitude of His great undeserved love.

For He does not afflict nor grieve the children of men willingly. (from Lam. 3:31-33)

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He may shoot arrows of sorrow or lay in wait with an ambush of trouble, or make our ways very difficult indeed, but He always has a purpose. And His purposes are for our good. Always. They may not appear so. We may walk in the valley of the shadow of death. We may climb the mountain of terrible trouble. We may stand on the slippery slope of pain. We may be in the dark pit of despair. We may be crushed with burdens too heavy to bear. Yet, Great is His faithfulness!IMG_3107

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” Lam. 3:24IMG_2799

He is enough. To trust and lean on Him is what I need to do.

“It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke of his youth. Let him sit alone and keep silent because God has laid it on him.” Lam. 3:26-27

My Deliver comes! He is working. His way is good even when it seem so bad.

His love never ends, it never gives up, never runs out on me! New, fresh, clean, every dawn, is His never ending love for me! I can say whatever He allows or puts into my life is good.IMG_1918

“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.” Lam. 3:25

Therefore I trust in Him, no matter what.

Posted in Comfort in Grief, Encouragement, God is Always good, God is faithful, God is God of the Earth, God is good, God is in control, God is my Deliverer, He makes a way, His Love is new every morning, His love never fails, Trusting God | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

IN HIM ALONE

Posted on February 28, 2015 by Wendy Kleker

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IN HIM ALONE

“Strengthen the weak hands and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are fearful-hearted, “Be strong, do not fear for your God will come and He will save you.” from Isaiah 35:3-4

I hear on the TV, “Is your future secure?” Or read in a magazine, “Do you have a retirement plan?” We are urged on every side to “Save up. Invest. Put your money where your mouth is.”

Yet for years, John and I scraped by from pay check to pay check. The years on the ranch in Trego Montana were the skinniest. John worked several jobs so he could build our herd and reseed the fields. In the summer, I did trail rides so we could eat and buy gas. Going on vacations was out of the question. A day trip to Glacier was planned and saved for. To buy a new pair of jeans or long underwear was carefully considered. Saving was out of the question. A retirement plan was a joke. Health insurance was unattainable and a secure future was the pot at the end of the rainbow. Even a cushion for emergencies was as elusive as a hawk on the wings of the wind.

Yet we never went hungry, in fact, we grew fat, our needs were provided for, even our desires were showered upon us. We were taken care of. We were provided for. We were led to a fatter land.

Now, after being in North Dakota and John working in the “patch” for five years, we do have a considerable savings. Health insurance is provided, we do have a retirement plan and a cushion sits in the checking account. But is that security?

There is much unrest in the world around us. In our quiet, sparsely populated country side we don’t see the violence or hear the bombs or experience hunger or poverty, but we feel the fear. Oh yes the fear siphons through the TV, the social media and the newspapers. We see glimpses, we hear rumors, we wonder what is coming.

Like a giant cloud of locusts we sense doom and gloom swarming closer to our quiet, comfortable lives. Are we any better off?

The savings could become unattainable, the retirement plan could collapse, the cushion melt away.

Where is my security?

“I am with you always,” He says, “I will never leave you or forsake you forever and ever.” (from Joshua 1:5)

What a better cushion can I have?

The High King of Heaven, the Risen One, the Living Lord is with me. He holds me with His right hand. He UPholds me with His righteous right hand.

He guides me with His counsel and afterwards, when my life is finished on this earth, when He calls me Home, He will receive me in Glory. (from Ps. 73:23-24)

What better retirement plan could there be?

That’s not to say the curse of this world won’t touch me. That I won’t have problems and sorrows, or sickness won’t come upon me, but I have an investment in Jesus Christ. This is what my God says:

“Sing O daughter of the King! Shout O My Child! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Mine!

For the Savior has taken away our punishment. Jesus has cast the enemy away from you, so the evil one no longer has power over you.”

Is there a better way to put my treasure where my mouth is than to sing and rejoice?

For He goes on:

“The King of Heaven, the Lord, is in your midst!

You will fear disaster no more. For I am with you!

I say to you, ‘Do NOT fear, Child, let not your hands be weak from fear.

For I, the Lord your God, am in your midst!

You have no reason to fear for I, the Mighty One, will save you.

I rejoice over you, My child, with gladness.

I quiet and comfort you with My never-ending love.

I rejoice over you, My loved one, with singing!” (from Zephaniah 3:14-17)

Wow! My God is in my midst. He saves me, He carries me, He rejoices over me with singing! Do I need more security than that?

 

“Whom have I in Heaven but You, O my God?

There is none on earth I desire more than You. Nothing is more delightful than You.

My flesh and my heart fail, all the time, Lord, for I am weak and I am afraid. I am down trodden without You.

But You, my Jesus, are my strength, You are my Rock that never moves, You are my Portion forever.

You are all I need. Now, today and forever and ever.” (from Psalms 73:25-26)

Where is my security?

In Him alone. Christ is my Portion. I need no other.

“It is good for me to draw near to God. I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all Your works.” Ps. 73:28

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Posted in Don't trust my plans, Encouragement, God is in my midst, Security | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WALK IN THE LIGHT part four

Posted on February 4, 2015 by Wendy Kleker
Walk not in the darkness

Out of the darkness

Into the Light

Into the Light

WALK IN THE LIGHT

part four

Jesus Calls

 “My soul trusts in You, O God, and in the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities have passed by.” Psalms 57:1

When Jesus wept, some of the friends with Mary marveled at how much He loved His friend Lazarus. But some of the people said critically, “Could not this man who opened the eyes of the blind have kept His friend from dying?”

Oh such familiar words! “Could not a powerful God have kept such a terrible thing from happening?”

You can just hear what they did not say, “If he cares so much, why didn’t he just get over here quicker and heal Lazarus?”

Yet, how many times have I said pretty much the same things. “Why, God, didn’t You move a little faster?”

Interesting that they believed Jesus could heal, but not bring someone back from the dead. Yet don’t I tend to limit God’s power to what I know and have seen?

Jesus walked to the tomb of Lazarus with Mary and Martha and He kept sighing and was deeply troubled. Jesus had compassion for His friend’s grief, He hated to see them hurt, but I think He is deeply troubled because of the unbelief He sees.

Jesus is troubled because of my unbelief; because I waiver; because I don’t trust Him when He tarries and things go all wrong; when it seems everything is out of control and I have great troubles; when I don’t believe the Most High can turn even this thing into good; when I grumble and complain about the small irritations in my life.

The tomb was a cave in the rock with a big stone in front of it and Jesus tells them to move the stone away.

“No!” cries Martha, “Lord, he has been in there four days, he’s really going to stink!”

Jesus looks at her, His eyes capturing her gaze and boring deep into her soul, “Martha, dear-realistic-sensible Martha,” sadly He shakes His head, “did I not promise you if you truly believe and rely on Me, you would see the glory of God?” (from John 11:40 amp)

Jesus didn’t say she would see her desires met or all her prayers answered the way she wants, no, He said, you will see the glory of God, the will of the Father, the hand of God working for your good and His Glory.

Martha stumbles back, “But-but—” as Jesus turns away I can just hear her mumble, “we’re for sure going to smell something and it’s stench will not be glorious! I can tell you that!”

I imagine Mary elbowing her outspoken sister as she whispers, “Martha!”

Several young burly men put their shoulders to the large stone and with a loud grating sound, they move it from the opening. There is much murmuring amongst the many friends, neighbors and acquaintances that are gathered near by.

Jesus steps up to the gapping back hole of the tomb. He lifts His eyes to Heaven. He is still. The crowd grows quiet. The birds stop their singing.

“Father,” Jesus says in a soft voice that reaches the very edges of the crowd, “Thank You that You have heard me.”

In the face of unbelief, Jesus gives thanks before there is an answer.

“I know, Father, that You always hear me. There is no reason for Me to even speak, but because of these ones standing near by, because they don’t believe, I say this out loud, so they will know it is God Almighty who has sent Me, and who gives me power. It is not Me but only You, Father God.”

With a loud voice, He shouts, “Lazarus come out!”

No one moves. No one takes a breath. Not a sound is heard.

From inside the cave, there is a rustling. A movement is seen inside the dark shadows of the tomb. An intake of breath, a gasp from the crowd.

A white form appears in the entrance of the cave. The linen grave clothes are wrapped tightly about the limbs. Stiffly the form steps through the opening and comes into the light. A cloth covers his face. Blinded and confused, he stands still.

Can you imagine the gasps? The cries? Martha taking in a quick breath and saying, “Oh my!”

Mary crying, “Thank you Jesus!” And falling to her knees with tears of joy running down her cheeks.

Jesus called his name and Lazarus stepped forth, from the darkness into the Light.

“Unbind him, ” Jesus says, “free him so he may see. And so you may believe.”

He who was dead is now alive.

He who was bound by chains of this world is now loosed.

He who was hidden in darkness now walks in the Light.

Those who are bowed down by heavy burdens can now throw their load at the feet of Jesus.

It wasn’t for Lazarus’ sake that Jesus brought him back to life. Lazarus had to come back from paradise. Can you imagine the stories he had to tell?

It wasn’t really for Mary and Martha’s sake, since they both believed and Jesus would have taken care of them.

No, it was for the ones who troubled Jesus deeply. The power of God was revealed for those who don’t believe. And for those of us who stumble and forget to lean on our Deliverer. Who take our eyes off His face and become anxious about our circumstances. For those of us who fret because He delays and become angry because He didn’t answer our prayers the way we wanted. For those of us who forget He, God Almighty who controls the universe, holds our lives in the palm of His mighty hand. Who lose sight of His mercy, and who no longer feel His unending love, it is for us, He reveals His glory.

“You who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again. And shall bring me up again from the depths of the earth and comfort me on every side.” Ps. 71:20-21

I have seen trouble, great and severe, I have felt massive pain, but it was the darkness that taught me to seek His face. In the storm I learned to hide under His wings and dwell in His secret place. It was during the climb that I learned to hang on for dear life to His hand. When I was lost and confused, I learned to walk in the Light, close to His side.

Sometimes He stills His hand from working. Sometimes He tarries, and I thank Him that He does.

“Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings, I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You, Your right hand upholds me.” Ps. 63:7-8

Are you lost and confused?

Are you captured by troubles?

Are you dead in sin?

Are you bound by chains of darkness?

Are you bowed down by burdens too heavy to bear?

Do you feel alone in your sorrow?

Are you wearing the ball and chain of pain?

Are you afraid of tomorrow?

Jesus calls your name.

He says, “Come! Rise out of the darkness. I will break your chains, I will loose your bindings, I will lighten your load, I will control your tomorrows, I will heal your sorrow. I will never leave you or forsake you. Trust Me. Walk in the Light.”

“I am the Light of the world, He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of the life.” John 8:12

From John 11

“Your goodness so great I can’t understand

But dear Lord, I know that all this was planned.

I know You’re here now and always will be

Your love loosed my chains and in You I’m free.

But Jesus why me?

And Jesus said, “Come,

to the waters.

Stand by my side.

I know you are thirsty

You won’t be denied.

I felt every tear drop

When in darkness you cried

And I strove to remind you

That for those tears

I died.”

For Those Tears I Died, by Marsh Stevens

Walk in the Light

Walk in the Light

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Jesus is the light of the world

Jesus is the light of the world

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Break free of the darkness, Encouragement, Faith, Jesus calls you out of darkness, Jesus is the Light, Lazarus, Lazarus risen from the dead, life from death, Martha and Mary, Out of darkness into light, Trusting God, Walk in the Light | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

WALK IN THE LIGHT part three

Posted on January 29, 2015 by Wendy Kleker

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WALK IN THE LIGHT

part three

Jesus Weeps

 “You number my wonderings, You put my tears into Your bottle. Are they not written in Your book?” Psalms 56:8

So Martha went back to Mary and she quietly whispered to her.

“The Teacher has come and is waiting for you outside the village.”

The ever practical Martha strove to give Mary some privacy with their friend, whom she knew could help her grieving sister. Privacy away from the well-meaning group of friends who had come from Jerusalem to help them in their grief for their brother who had died four days earlier. Martha also knew many of these Jews were critical of Jesus and might even assist in His arrest. So she whispered quietly.

However, Mary, who allowed her emotions to reign, who was impetuous and spontaneous, sprang to her feet and rushed out so quickly that everyone knew she was up to something, and they followed her like a cloud of smoke.

Mary, soft hearted-emotional Mary ran to Jesus. She didn’t sit and wait for Him to come to the house; she didn’t walk out to meet Him. Instead, with tears running down her face, she ran to Him.

Unlike Martha, she did not rail and stomp at Him, or demand an answer, no Mary threw herself at the feet of Jesus.

Oh, this woman, who is so unlike me, touches my heart. How I long to be more like Mary.

Months earlier, she poured expensive perfume all over Jesus’ head. I can just hear practical Martha, “Mary!” she blurts out when Mary breaks the vial, “What are you doing? That was for our burials!”

And the disciples say, “That is expensive stuff! What is wrong with that woman!”

But Mary, sweet-devoted-mushmellon Mary, poured out the costly oil that was possibly their life savings, without a thought.

To show honor, she anointed the head of Jesus. She let it run through his hair, and maybe messaged His weary shoulders with the expensive oil. Possibly because she knew He was tired, maybe He’d had a long stressful day, but most assuredly because she loved Him.

She loved her Teacher, her Lord so much, she poured out their nest egg on His precious head.

And Jesus said, “Why do you trouble this woman, she has done this thing for Me.” (from Math 26:6-13)

I love this story. Then at some point, when Jesus was visiting their house, Mary sat at the feet of Jesus while her sister slaved away to feed the family and many visitors, for after all Jesus never traveled alone. While her older sister stomped, grumbled, and threw things around in the kitchen, sensitive-sentimental Mary sat with ardent eyes clinging to the Savior’s face and ears drinking in every word He had to say. Oh what a picture!

I can just hear Martha demand in a strident voice and with a stomp or two, “Lord, don’t you care that she sits while I work myself to death?”

Jesus said, “Leave her alone, for Mary has chosen the good thing.” (from Luke 10:38-42)

Oh to be more like Mary.

Then after the story I am telling now, when Jesus again visited Lazarus, Mary poured more of the precious oil, this time, on the feet of Jesus, which was a display of great devotion. Then she wiped His feet with her long hair. I am sure all who were present gasped loudly and Judas complained that the oil of nard was worth 300 denarii. Which was close to a years wages. Imagine taking a year of your wages and pouring it out on the feet of Jesus!

Yet Jesus said, “leave her alone, she has kept this for Me.” (from John 12:1-7)

Now, fervent-spontaneous Mary runs to her Jesus and falls at His feet. Oh if I could only be more like Mary!

She cries out her grief to Him, “Lord, if only You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Same words as Martha, but instead of a tone of anger, Mary lies at her Lord’s feet, weeping and pouring out her heart. Jesus doesn’t ask Mary if she believes. He knows she believes.   Jesus doesn’t need a confession of faith from Mary, she has already shown it. Jesus does not need Mary to reaffirm her love for him, He has seen and felt her devotion.

She sat at His feet, washed his feet and fell at His feet in her love for her Savior. Oh to be more like Mary!

“When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews that were with her also sobbing, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled.” John 11:33

Jesus was moved by their tears. He felt their pain. Jesus wept.

Not because He grieved for Lazarus, for He knew what would happen. He had compassion because of Mary’s tears. And even for the tears of those who did not as yet believe in Him.

He sees our tears, He keeps them in a bottle, He writes them in a book. He knows their cost, He feels the pain of our heart. Jesus is deeply moved by our sorrows.

I can imagine He gently reached down and lifted Mary. As tears rolled down His cheeks , He lovingly drew her to His side and wrapped His arms around her. I’m sure he firmly supported her with His arm as they walked towards the tomb.

Jesus comforts the broken hearted.

He says, “He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted.” Luke 4:18

He weeps, He cares, He comforts and He heals.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3

He sees our tears, He feels our sorrow. He heals our shattered hearts.

This I know.

When grief for my son was so great all I could do was fall to my knees, and the tears poured from my eyes, I felt His comfort. When I thought I could not go on because of despair, He bound my wounds. When the uphill climb was so very hard and I thought I would never laugh again, I experienced His healing. I feel His joy, I know His peace, I dwell in His love.

Come my friend, fall at His feet, cry out your grief to Him, pour out your heart. He will hold you in His arms.

from John 11

Jesus I give you my heart and my soul.

I know without You I would never be whole.

Savior, You opened all the right doors

I thank You. And I praise you

From Earths humble shores.

Take me I’m Yours.

And Jesus said, Come to the waters

Stand by my side.

I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied.

I felt every tear drop,

When in darkness you cried,

And I strove to remind you

That for those tears I died.

For Those Tears I died, by Marsha Stevens

 

 

 

Posted in Anointing the head of Jesus, Comfort, Comfort in Grief, Encouragement, Fall at the feet of Jesus, Give Him your burdens, Jesus has compassion, Jesus said come, Jesus weeps, Lazarus, Mary washes his feet with oil, our tears in a bottle | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WALK IN THE LIGHT part two

Posted on January 20, 2015 by Wendy Kleker

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Jesus Asks

 You said You would come and share all my sorrows.

You said You’d be there for all my tomorrows.

I came so close to sending You away,

But just like you promised,

You came here to stay.

I just had to pray.*

  “Why did He not come?” Martha mumbles under her breath as she putters away in the kitchen. “He could have healed him, I know He could have, but He didn’t come. Why?”

One of the ladies who had come to help, nudged Martha with her elbow and said, “Now we’ll take care of this, Dear, you just go in there with your sister.” The well-meaning friend pointed to the other room where Mary and more friends sat on pillows on the floor.

“What am I supposed to do, just sit and cry my eyes out and let my mind think all kinds of things?” Martha snapped, her eyes flashing. “There’s work that needs to be done here, I need to be seeing to the guests.”

“Well, yes,” the friend said, “now is the time for you and Mary to grieve. There will soon be time for working. You go sit now,” the older lady nudged, pushed, and took the knife from Martha’s hand, “Go, go!”

Martha, seeing nothing else to do, sank down on one of the large cushions on the front room floor. She glanced at her sister who was curled on her side, finally sleeping.

She would not disturb her, since sensitive-emotional Mary had been weeping almost non- stop since their brother had breathed his last.

Four days Lazarus had been dead, and nearly twice that since they had sent the runner to their friend. There had been no word, no miracle, no Jesus. She knew, from experience, Jesus could have said the words from where ever He was and healed Lazarus. She had seen it happen. Or had heard of it. She was sure He could have done this. But nothing had happened while Lazarus lay sick, becoming weaker and weaker until he could not draw another breath into his lungs. Now he was gone, now it was too late.

Lazarus, their older brother, was their last family member, her and Mary’s last provider. Now what would they do? How would they make a living?

Oh, there were some funds they could live on for awhile. They could have sold the precious oil they were saving for burials and lived on that for several years if only Mary, her impetuous-impractical sister hadn’t poured it all out on the head of Jesus.

Oh my, what a sight that was! Quite scandalous. Luckily, there were only a few of His followers in the house. They would never have lived that down! And Jesus hadn’t rebuked her like Martha expected Him too. No, instead Jesus encouraged her. Oh my, what was she going to do with her sister? What were they going to do period?

A young boy walks quickly in the door and going straight to Martha, whispers in her ear. “He comes.”

Martha nonchalantly gets to her feet and stretches, then slips quietly from the house. Once out of sight of the women, she picks up her robe and rushes down the road. Just outside the village she sees Jesus coming with His ever-present group of men surrounding Him. Martha slows her walk, drops her robe, straightens her back and with head in the air, marches right up to Him.

“If You had been here, Lord,” she snaps, and I can imagine her tone being a bit strident, condemning, and angry even, since that is exactly the way I would have been.

“If you would have been here, Lord,” Martha spat with clipped sharp words, “IF You had only been here, my brother would not have died!” Possibly she even stomps her foot.

But then she remembers the last time she had railed at Jesus about her sister sitting, while Martha worked, and how He had admonished her. So she backed up a bit, softened her words, lowered her eyes and quietly said,

“But even now, though my brother is gone, I know that whatever you ask your Father, He will give You.”

Did she really believe Jesus could bring Lazarus back? No I don’t think so, I mean who would? I think she meant Jesus could help them, those who were left, maybe even help provide for her and Mary. Maybe practical-down-to-earth-realistic Martha thought Jesus could ask His heavenly Father to give them husbands. I don’t believe she thought in her wildest dreams that Jesus could or would bring Lazarus back from the grave.

Jesus answered her, saying, “Your brother will rise again.”

“Oh yes, I know he will be raised up again in the last days,” Martha said indignantly, “I know he is in Heaven. I know he’s better off, really, but we who are left, what about us?”

Oh Martha is so like me forgetting my Savior’s promises to sustain me, to hold me, to supply all my needs. Doubting that He would come and that He will be in my tomorrows.

Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me shall live even though he dies in the body. And whoever believes in Me and lives in Me, shall never die, but have eternal life.” (from John 11:25-26)

Then He asks the question He asks each one of us at some point in our lives.

“Do you believe?”

“Yes, Lord, she tells Him, “I do believe You are the Christ, the Son of God who has come into the world.”

She got it! For even though Martha was the strong one, stalwart and practical, she believed in her unemotional heart that Jesus was the long-anticipated Messiah, God with us, the Son sent from the Father above.

She did not quite understand what it was He was there to do, but she had seen the miracles and she knew His heart. Lazarus was Jesus’ friend, possibly His confident. Jesus stayed in their home, was able to relax there, felt safe and comfortable. I can imagine Jesus talking late into the night with Lazarus, just the two of them. Possibly Jesus sent the disciples away, and maybe He bared His heart to Lazarus.

“I know the time is coming near, Lazarus,” He might have whispered, ” this is the year for the Son of man to be the sacrificial Lamb for all mankind. I know and the human side of me cringes. I am afraid, my friend, for I know the pain and the horror that I will endure.”

Martha would have heard this, maybe quietly cleaning in the kitchen, maybe sitting silently in the shadows. Martha along with Mary would have listened to His every word.

“Lazarus,” Jesus might have said, “pray for Me, that I may have the strength to do this great thing that I know I must do. I have to do it for you and for all who will believe. Please My friend, pray.”

Perhaps Lazarus reached over and squeezed his young friend’s hand, “I will pray for You, but Son, never fear, Your Father will not leave You, even if it feels He has done so. He will be there and He will strengthen You. Even now He is preparing you.”

So Martha had seen His heart, she knew He was God, who had sacrificed a great thing to walk on this earth as a mere man. She understood His compassion. She felt His love go deep in her soul. She didn’t know His plan. She didn’t really understand His purpose. She had no idea why all this was happening.

Yet, after Jesus let her down by tarrying, before seeing the great miracle, while He comforted her with words only, as her brother lay dead in the tomb, when her future loomed dark and hopeless, she believed. And it was enough.

How about you, friend?

Do you believe?

And Jesus said Come to the waters, stand by my side.

I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied.

I felt every tear drop when in darkness you cried,

And I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

*For Those Tears I Died, by Marsha Stevens

And Jesus said come to the waters

And Jesus said come to the waters

Stand by My side

Stand by My side

Posted in Beleive in the Son of God, Encouragement, Faith, He is sufficient, Jesus said come, Lamb of the world, Lazarus, Martha and Mary, Walk in the Light | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
Jesus is the Light

Jesus is the Light

Jesus Delays

“Are there not twelve hours in a day? If anyone walks in the day he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night he stumbles because the light is not in him.” John 11:9-10

In a small village near Jerusalem called Bethany lived a man and his two sisters. This man fell gravely ill and his two sisters sent for their dear friend whom they knew could heal their brother, with a touch. This friend loved their brother greatly, so Mary and Martha knew He would surely come.

Somewhere beyond the Jordon, soon after nearly being stoned in Jerusalem, Jesus was preaching to many of John the Baptist’s followers. A runner rushed up to him one day and gave him the message that his dear friend Lazarus was sick and possibly dying.

Did Jesus rush to begin the journey to Bethany? Did he say a prayer for his friend? Did he even say the words that would heal Lazarus from afar? No. He tarried on purpose. Did He not love His friends?

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” After all Mary was the woman who had poured expensive oil on the head of Jesus and sat at his feet to listen instead of helping her sister. How could he not love that?

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So–” big word SO. So what?

“So, when He heard Lazarus was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.” Jn. 11:5-6

He stayed two more days SO Lazarus could stay sick. SO his friend whom He loved could die. SO the two beloved sisters would be thrown into great grief.

Two days He delays. Then it took four more days to travel to Bethany, that’s six days the sisters grieved. Six days they were in despair and pain. Six days when Jesus knew His friends, who He loved, would be hurting, yet He tarried. Why?

Jesus says, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Jesus knew it was for the best, for their best so they could grow stronger. Of course He knew what would happen and He knew it was for God’s glory and Jesus would be lifted up as the Son of God. He knew it was God’s plan, and although there would be pain, in the end there would be victory.

Sometimes, for us, my friends, He tarries.

When Jesus knew Lazarus had died He told the disciples that they would go to Judea, near Jerusalem.

“But Teacher, you were nearly stoned there and you want to go back?” the disciples cried urgently.

Now they hadn’t questioned His delay even when His friend was deathly ill, but they strongly disagreed with His decision to go back to where they had trouble. How much they doubted, how strong their fear, how great was their unbelief.

Jesus said to them, “Are there not twelve hours in a day? Anyone who walks in the day will not stumble for he sees the light of the world.”

The Light of the world is Jesus. (John 9:5) “Twelve hours of daylight, twelve of you My friends. If you will only stay with Me, each one of you, and walk in the Light, you will be okay.”  Isn’t that what He’s saying?

If we stay with Jesus, if we walk in the Light of day, if we stay near Him, we will not stumble. But if we walk in the darkness, where the Light is not, away from Jesus, then we trip and falter.

No matter what happens, even if we see hard times, have much grief, experience tough trials, if we are walking in the Light and following Jesus we will not fall. He is always there. He is the Light of the world. We will not stumble. He will hold us up. It is all in God’s plan.

Jesus then said to the disciples, “I am glad for your sakes that Lazarus is dead, that I was not there.”

Seems a terrible thing to say. I’m so glad my friend died, that I wasn’t there to save him. Why did Jesus say this?

The disciples were weak, their faith needed bolstering. They needed strengthened. Big time. In a hurry. They did not have time to train or months to exercise, and years to build their muscles of faith. Time was running out. They needed to know who they followed. They needed to understand this Jesus was not just a charming fellow or an enigmatic leader or a dynamic speaker.

They needed to experience His glory and see His power. They needed to understand that He was, indeed, the Son of the Living God, to feel His love and to know His path was in the light.

Oh how great their unbelief! Thomas even mumbles, “Okay, okay we might as well go with Him so we can just die with Him.”

In retrospect, this seems silly. After all they followed the Light of the world, the Bright Morning Star, the Good Shepherd, the Great I Am. They walked for nearly three years in the footsteps of the Messiah, God Himself in human form.

They were with Him when he fed five thousand plus folks with five loaves and five fishes. They were there when the winds obeyed His voice. With their own eyes, they saw this God-man walk on water, heal the sick, cure many diseases, raise the dead, escape a stoning or two, open the eyes of the blind, make the cripple leap for joy. And they doubted He could walk into Jerusalem and stay alive?!

Yet, how much do I doubt Him? How great is my unbelief? How many times have I experienced His mighty touch in my life, yet when faced with a difficult time, I cry, “I can’t go there! I’ll die!”

How many times do I rail against a harsh circumstance? How many times do I stomp and storm because things get a bit tough? Like frigid temps for days on end?

How many times does Jesus lovingly drag me out of the mud and the mire, gently wipe the grim from my face and softly say,

“Child of mine, if you would only walk in the Light, you would not fall.”?

How many times do I plead and pull and even try to manipulate Almighty God when He tarries for a spell before working out my problems?

How many times do I shake my fist at God when it seems I was abandoned, when I see not His hand working a resolution, when He does not heal, when He allows death, when He stands by and watches suffering, when there is pain and grief, how many times when I am in despair?

And Jesus in His infinite wisdom says, “I am glad, for your sake, I was not there. ”

So you will believe.

So you will grow strong.

So you will know Me more.

So you will walk always in the Light.”

From John 11:1-16

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Posted on January 15, 2015 by Wendy Kleker | 5 Comments

HE IS GOD

Posted on January 14, 2015 by Wendy Kleker

IMG_1030                                                          God of the Moon

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Keeper of the Stars

IMG_1851 Keeper of the Stars

Master of the sun

Master of the sun

BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD

God promises to hear our prayers, but He does not promise to answer the way we think He should.

God promises to walk with us always, but He doesn’t promise to make the road a highway.

He promises to give us strength to climb the steep slope, but He doesn’t always move the mountain.

God promises to hold us in His righteous right hand through the toughest trials, but He doesn’t promise to keep us from hard times.

He promises shelter under His wings through the tempest, but he doesn’t always calm the storm.

God promises a refuge to run to, a high tower to hide in, a Friend to talk to;

A fortress when under siege, sustenance when hungry, a shield against Satan’s flaming arrows;

A rock to dwell on, a well that does not run dry, a spacious space on which to stand.

He bears our burdens, lights our path, holds us in His righteous right hand, and comes as our Deliverer.

He washes us white as snow, He redeems us with the Son’s blood, He seals us as His for eternity.

However, He does not promise roses without thorns, a free will without consequences, a world without pain.

He does not promise day without night, joy without sorrow, or love without loss.

But God says the dawn will always come, all things will pass, He comforts those who are broken in heart and in spirit.

Our Redeemer says we can pour our hearts out to Him, but He does not always give the answers.

He invites us to lean on Him, to rest in Him and to seek His face, but He desires us to believe in the things we can not see.

To trust that His mighty hand is working.

To believe He only does what is best for His children.

To have faith that His ways are high above what we can comprehend.

To know completely that those ways are for our good always.

To know He is God, King of the Universe. Almighty Creator, Councilor, Redeemer, Judge, Great Shepherd, King of Glory, Lover of my soul, Keeper of the stars, High King of Heaven, The First and the Last, The Way the Truth and the Life, Ruler of Earth and all that is in it, The God of God’s.

Posted in Encouragement, Faith, He is God, King of Kings, Promises, Trusting God | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

WHO AM I?

Posted on January 8, 2015 by Wendy Kleker
ominous storm

ominous storm

Laughing in the face of the wind

Laughing in the face of the wind

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The eye of the storm

The eye of the storm

WHO AM I?

Last summer, when the kids were here, we did what was probably a foolish thing. We sat outside and watched a storm cloud move in from the west. It was big and black and fierce looking. The huge cloud roiled and lightening flashed like beacons in the midst of the dark mass moving slowly across the sky.

John, Maci, Jacob and I laughed in the face of the wind. We reveled in the danger of the storm. We thrilled at the fact that a funnel could shoot down at any moment and toss us about like rubble. We were either very brave or incredibly stupid.

Actually we sat 6 feet from the door to the house, we felt sure we could run to the shelter of the basement. We were secure in the fact that safety and refuge were right there beside us.

It wasn’t until the dark front of the ominous cloud had passed over us and I looked up to see the swirling whirlwind right above our heads, that I realized how dangerous it was. We were in the eye of the storm. A funnel could drop before we could even say the word, RUN!

Little did we know, until it was past, that there WAS a tornado warning with this storm. There had been in fact, a funnel spotted from the cloud, west of us.     Incredibly stupid is what I would call it, yet undeniably protected!

Today as I sit here I watch a different kind of storm; snow and wind, a blasting blizzard. Snow plastered on buildings and fence posts and driven through any crack the wind can find. Wind-whipped snow biting my face and cold knifing into my bones. Wind, whirling wind and blinding snow.

“The Lord has His way in the whirlwind and the storm. The clouds are the dust of His feet”

Who am I to question God’s way? He commands the winds. He stands in the midst of the mighty storm.

“He rebukes the sea and makes it dry and He dries up the rivers.”

Who am I to demand my way? He controls the waters on the whole earth.

“The mountains quake before Him and the hills melt like wax.”

Who am I to tell the Almighty what He should do? He reigns over the majestic mountains and rules the hills.

“The whole earth and all who dwell in it heave at His presence.”

Who am I to stand in anger before the Almighty God? The earth is His. He has dominion over all the earth and He is master of all who are in it.

I am nothing but dust. A grain of sand on a sea shore created by the Creator. A sinner. Like the inhabitants of Nineveh, I have a black heart. I rail and stomp against my God, yet expect to have blessings heaped upon my head. I am nothing, a weakling unable to take care of my own life.

God is the God of the whirlwind. By spoken word, He controls the wind. God holds the storms in His hands. He lets them loose upon the earth as He sees fit.

When a storm comes into my life and the winds scatter all that I know, who am I to shake my fist at Him who stands in the blast? He is the God of the wind.

If I lose all I have on this earth, who am I to expect more? He gives and He takes away. He is the God of the waters.

When my world quakes, when the ones I counted on leave or are taken away, when everything I know is in upheaval, who am I to be angry at the God of the whole Earth? He can make the mighty mountains shake. The hills run into puddles like melting wax at His word. The earth heaves at His presence. At the presence of the Lord of the whole earth.

I am nothing. He is everything!

He calms the wind and stills the storm. He waters the ground and makes the flowers bloom and He brings about food on the earth. He holds the mountains in place and solidifies the hills. He keeps the planet together. For now.

However, if He does not, if He allows my life to fall apart then I can do nothing but trust Him. When it is the hardest to trust Him, I need to trust Him the most.

Even if the storms come and the whirlwind scatters my life to the four corners of the earth; Even if the waters dry up on all the earth and I have no sustenance; Even if the mountains shake and fall into the sea; Even if the hills melt and all I know is gone; Even then–

“The Lord is good. He is a stronghold, a refuge, in the day of trouble.

He knows who trusts in Him.” (from Nahum 1:3-7)

Even though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines:

Even though the labor of the olive may fail and the fields yield no crop:

Even though the flock is cut off from the fold and destroyed and there are no        herds in the stalls:

Even then, I will rejoice in the Lord of the whole earth.

I will have joy in my God because he saves my soul.

Because He gives me Grace, I will praise His name. His grace is sufficient, it is     all I need.

“The Lord is my strength, I need no other, He will make my feet like the feet of deer and He will enable me to walk on my high hills.” (from Habakkuk 3:17-19)

I am nothing. He is everything.

Winter storm

Winter storm

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Posted in God is God of the Earth, He commands the wind, He gives and He takes away, He is in the Storm, He is sufficient, I will rejoice, Joy in the storm | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What do I want?

Posted on November 15, 2014 by Wendy Kleker

WHAT DO I WANT?

“I love You, O Lord, my Strength.

The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress and my Deliverer. My God is my Rock in whom I take refuge. He is my Shield and the horn of my salvation, my Stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise and I am saved.” Psalms 18:1-3

In my teens a long, long time ago, possibly millions and millions of years, I wanted nothing more than to stay a child. No, I didn’t want to be cool, or to fit in with the popular group, nothing like that; I wanted to stay young and carefree. I did not want to grow up. I only wanted to play with my best friends, two sisters who mostly wanted the same thing. Oh once in awhile we had this yearning deep inside to—to–do what? We weren’t sure. Try on the world, maybe. So we set out to get drunk on fermented apple cider. This after tasting their older brother’s homemade beer and thinking it was pretty good. I am sure the apple cider idea came from him and no, we didn’t get drunk only sick.

For the most part, we only wanted to pedal our bikes up and down the Talkeetna spur highway to the swimming holes and the creeks to catch the salmon during the run or to the berry patches. Or to ride horses in the power line or down the few side roads, for you see in Alaska there’s no riding or hiking cross country unless you first hack a trail through the brush. We gleefully spun our way over the snow on my Skidoo snow machine, two standing on back of the freight sled that was like a dog sled, laughing giggling and singing. Oh we loved singing in the crisp, sometimes very cold, winter air while we skimmed over the sparkly snow. Sometimes we sang songs we learned in youth group; sometimes they were songs we made up. Like to the tune of Delta Dawn, “Wendy Lynn, what’s that flower by your chin? Could it be a faded fireweed from days gone by? And did I hear you say Jim was a meeting you here today, to take you to his cabin by the lake.”

Once we picked and ate frozen, we hoped, fermented high bush cranberries that were clinging tenaciously to the bushes and thought we got tipsy. Now that I am old and wise, I think we were only drunk on silliness.

No, we three “Ice Girls” didn’t want to grow up, yet knew we would regardless so we threw ourselves with abandon into being just kids and having the most fun we could in the backwoods of Alaska. Such as racing our horses in a thunder storm or hanging by our toes in a huge windrow brush pile to reach hidden raspberries, or camping under the stars only to get rained upon and soaking wet. I learned in Alaska you don’t camp without a tent.

Once in awhile, however, we became restless, thought maybe we might want to some day find a good man, get married, maybe be a mom. Being pure craziness, those thoughts did not last long.

When seventeen loomed I fought adding another year to my life with all I had. Sixteen was plenty old enough but at seventeen, I might have some grown-up responsibilities and decisions and soon childhood would fly away.

Then I met Jim Sakaguchi. Big smile, gentle brown eyes, round laughing face. All thoughts of forever staying a kid vanished, much to my two friend’s dismay. After months of getting to know him by running a trapline with my dad and him, I began to have visions of walking through life side by side with this man, for no boy was he at age twenty three.

So now all of a sudden I wanted to grow up, learn to cook, much to my mom’s amazement, grocery shop and run a household. I wanted nothing more than to make Jim a loving wife in the wilds of Alaska. You can guess the rest; he swept me off my feet and took me to his cabin by the lake. I grew leaps and bounds away from my two best friends and even though we stayed in touch and spent much time together for many years, it was never the same.

Jim and me our wedding Oct 4, 1974 At Chulitna River Lodge. A story in itself

Jim and me our wedding Oct 4, 1974 At Chulitna River Lodge. A story in itself

For you see I wanted nothing more than to spend time with my new best friend, my Jim. We were foot loose and made our home anywhere we happened to be, the cabin on Ermine Lake, a pup tent in a rainy campground, a small camping trailer, a singlewide trailer in Talkeetna, then Colorado and finally Montana. With adventures all along the way where my desires changed from wanting a cozy twosome to desiring a child. Thus, Stephen came along in 1978, born in Palmer Alaska, four years after we were married. From dreaming of a new log house, to just wanting a happy safe home in our trailer on the mountain in Plains Montana.

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Life. Funny how it changes, like a mountain river bending, turning, running smooth, then roiling, boiling over rocks and tumbling, falling, crashing. Funny how I can’t tell you what I want now without telling you what I wanted then. That’s because you can’t separate the waters of the past from the waters of the here and now, the river all flows together.

Back in my 30’s with a young son now in school, I wanted to be strong in body, physically fit, able to climb mountains and hunt all day long. Then get up the next morning and do it all again. I wanted to hear the bugle of a bull elk ringing on the clear crisp morning air. I wanted to smell the fir trees and the cedar as I sat in the grass on a mountain side. I wanted to crawl through the brush with the soft tones of cow elk talking in my ears. I wanted to gaze into the eyes of a spike bull and watch with heart-pounding, bated breath as a monster bull elk silently stalked closer and closer.

I wanted to watch the stars come out and the moon rise from a ridge top and the sun peek over the mountains in the silence of dawn. I wanted to hunker down in the cold predawn and listen to the silent forest come alive as light pushed back the darkness.

I wanted to shoot a buck every year and have elk meat in the freezer. I wanted to get one bull that was not a raghorn. Just one big bull in my life time.

I wanted to teach my son to hunt and sneak up on the long-eared deer so close we could almost touch them. I wanted to hunt all day with my husband, build a fire in the snow and fall asleep beside it after eating lunch.

I wanted to teach my son about Jesus being his Savior, his friend and his life guide. I wanted to enjoy my friends and love my husband and help my son experience the best of life.

The first time my life plummeted over a waterfall, I dove headfirst into a deep, dark pool that had no bottom and no light. Half my heart was ripped away when I lost my Jim. I was left in the darkness, gasping for breath, for joy, for life. I pretty much wanted to die, but had to live for my son. I wanted nothing more than my husband by my side, and was lost wondering in the wilderness when he was not.

Then God made His glorious presence known to me. I became aware in a real way of not only a Father figure to serve, but of a loving Best Friend who walked beside me all the time. Jesus showed me Himself and His amazing, unending love. For me!

Then all I wanted was to love Him. To stay close to Him and to serve Him. I wanted Jesus pure and simple. Nothing more. Nothing less. However, God desired for me a bit more. He brought me out of the wilderness into the Promised Land. He blessed me with a new life by giving me a new husband. A beautiful, loving man, John Kleker who didn’t give up when friendship was all I would accept.

Life smoothed out then with a few bumps and bangs over the rapids that came now and again and I wanted nothing more than to experience to the fullest this new life God had given me with my husband and my son. We weren’t footloose but I found John to be a bit nomadic and an adventurer so I followed him from one adventure to another where ever he went. From Plains to a ranch in Trego, to working on a big ranch near Livingston, to working and going to diesel mechanic school in Havre, to Chinook and finally to Sentinel Butte, North Dakota. Don’t never say never! North Dakota was one place I never wanted to live! Now I don’t ever want to leave.

The next time life plunged over a waterfall I tumbled and crashed and bounced off rocks to land battered and beaten far, far below. That’s when I lost my son.

I wanted to go to Glory then, but God showed me His brilliant Presence. Jesus Christ shining white and bright stood beside me and held me in His hands. I wanted then only to praise Him and thank Him, for even though the way was hard, filled with grief and much pain, I found the Solid Rock.

I found refuge under His wings. I learned that no matter what happens that Rock doesn’t move. No matter how bad the storm rages, His wings cover me and He holds me up with His righteous right hand.

He is my shelter, my high tower, my fortress. I want nothing more than to trust Him with all of my being, no matter what may come, for my every need. To lay my burdens at His feet, to take His hand, to gaze into His eyes and feel His peace and be filled with His indescribable joy. Every day I want to bask in His Glorious presence and to smile at the sound of His name. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

I also want to love my husband beyond all human capability and to shower him with affection and respect. I want to teach my Grandkids to love God, to follow God no matter the cost and to find His presence in their lives at all times. I want to ride a horse when I’m 79. (if I’m still on earth) I want to spoil my dog and have her near me all the time; I want to spend time with my friends and always be there when they have a need. I want to give back to my church family and my friends the love, acceptance and support they have given me.

I want to fly! I’m looking forward to a Glorious Heaven and I can’t wait to see my son and other loved ones who have begun their lives in Eternity.

I want beyond all else to see my Redeemer’s face and touch his nail torn hands.

He is my Rock! I want nothing more than to stand on the Rock forever and ever!

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling. He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.” Psalms 27:4-5

Posted in Faith, He is my refuge, He is my Rock, the presence of God | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

THE ITTY BITTY CAT THAT COULD

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Wendy Kleker
Preparing our trailer spot

Preparing our trailer spot

THE ITTY BITTY CAT THAT COULD
“Now listen you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes.” James 4:13-14

Do I try to make things fit into my plans? Am I so preoccupied with planning that I can’t hear God’s voice? Does my planning become controlling?

Oh yeah, sometimes. I used to be terrible about this. I was a slave to my plans. Once plans were laid that was it, I didn’t want them to waver or change an inch. If they did I was one upset puppy!

Did I rejoice in my plans? I did rely on them. I left God out, but my plans were center stage. Oh, I would ask God to bless my plans. “This is how it needs to go, Lord, please make it work.”

I had a huge learning curve on this. What I mean is, it was a long slow turn till I changed, even a little, with this one. One of my first and most impressionable lessons was when Jim, my late husband, and I moved our single wide house trailer to my dad’s property in Plains Montana.

It was going to be an easy move. Nothing like the move of 300 miles or so from Belgrade Montana to Plains where our 14X70 foot home was pulled up the mountain on a windy, narrow road through snow-laden trees and left in the middle of the county road, blocking the school bus and other rigs because the professional mover could not or would not back it into the tiny, slippery space between the pines. Nothing like running with a friend to round up a caterpillar a couple of miles away to chug over and push the trailer house, with the blade, no less, off the road and back into the space. No nothing like that. Only a few miles across the valley and up into gentle hills to a leveled out large space that we had prepared on my dad’s property. This move three years later would be an easy one. After all we had it all planned out carefully.

This is how it would go–first we would prepare the inside of the trailer to move, packing all breakables, stabilizing anything that might move, wall hangings would be put on the floor, and taping all cupboards closed. The skirting would be taken off, all pipes, drains and electrical hookups would be unhooked. The professional mover would simply hook up, pull it out of the spot onto the paved county road, easy as pie, pull it across the valley, through Plains, and up the wide county road to Dads driveway. The mover had accessed the driveway and though it was a bit of a climb he said it would be no problem, his truck was powerful and had 4-wheel drive so would get traction on the gavel. It was summer, not winter, no slick roads, the spot was large, we could turn the trailer around so the living room windows would face the view of the valley, we had a mover who was used to mountain roads and knew where he was going, piece of cake, we had our bases covered. Plans were laid. There would be no deviating from them.

We prayed all would go smooth and as planned. My mom prayed, I’m not sure what exactly she prayed but she always prayed. She told me the day before the move, “Don’t worry, Wendy, I’m praying. It will be fine.”

Everything went as planned and as smooth as a puppies tummy, at first. I can’t say I didn’t worry and I was praying like crazy when I watched the tail end of my home going up that steep driveway. My heart was indeed in my throat when the semi-truck wheels spun in the gravel and the long trailer slid back a ways.
“Is he going to make it?” Stephen, in the car beside me, asked.
“Oh yeah,” I said when the big tires caught and dug in to pull the heavy trailer up the steep incline, “he said it was a piece of cake.”

On up the driveway he crawled, but then the trailer in front of us stopped. And didn’t go on. When the driver saw the even steeper incline ahead of him, a way that had been recently bladed and cleared through the timber with a cat since the last turn in the existing drive was too tight, he shook his head. There was no way, he said, that his truck could pull that trailer up that steep incline over the soft dirt. He just couldn’t do it. So we blocked and secured the trailer on the relatively level part of the driveway. He unhooked his powerful, 4-wheel drive semi-truck and drove around the circle drive Dad had in front of his house and left.

Jim, Stephen and I just stood there staring dumbfounded at our home, a hundred and fifty yards from where it was supposed to be, and my dad shook his head.
“Guess you could just leave it there,” he said.

Mom? She just prayed. Jim said we’d figure something out, but it was getting dark so we would sleep there for the night.

Funny thing waking up in the morning in your house with different scenery out your window. Funnier still if it’s scenery half way up your driveway. Better than semi-trucks out your window I guess. When we moved the trailer from Belgrade to Plains we stayed the night in Missoula. Not having much money the three of us slept in the trailer on our own beds in a truck stop, sandwiched between semi-trucks hauling who knows what. It was the middle of winter and we had no heat except for the wood stove, so we stoked up a fire. No problem, right, so what if a bit of smoke went out the chimney. The next morning I peeked out the blinds and saw a gas truck right beside us. So glad that it was just smoke going out the chimney!

So anyway the first order of the day was to find someone to move our house on up to the spot we had taken such care and time to prepare. Just a little wrinkle in our plans. I didn’t like it, was a bit stressed, but Jim kept saying we would figure something out. Someone, somewhere would be able to get the trailer up that hill. Mom said she was praying. I said that’s good. And ran around like a chicken with my head cut off when a friend brought up a small cat and said, he could pull that trailer up the hill, no problem!

The itty bitty cat that could, puffed and smoked, and chugged, and dug it’s tracks and moved the trailer—-not an inch. The problem was, our friend said, the cat’s hitch wasn’t high enough to lift the trailer frame off the ground, so the brave little cat was trying to drag the big heavy trailer up that hill. So the cat that couldn’t left, but we were not defeated.

We did, however, stay another night on the driveway. By then our plans had all flown out the window and we were flying by the seat of our pants. So to speak. More like dragging in the dirt. Mom was still praying and I was beginning to join her in earnest.
“Lord, please get our home up where it belongs. I really don’t care how You do it. Just, please, do it. Cuz we can’t.”

So we found another friend with an old boom truck with a winch in the back that could lift the hitch high enough to get the front of the trailer off the ground. This would work! They hooked the hitch of the trailer to the boom hook and hoisted away. Bang! The trailer fell off the hook and crashed to the ground.

I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t yell something I shouldn’t. They secured it better and tried again. This time it held, but the old boom truck that was determined, roared and spun and pulled and moved the trailer a few feet. The steep incline loomed ahead and the little truck lurched to a halt. Our friend said maybe if he got a run at the hill he might make it.
“Might!” I squeaked. “What happens if you don’t?”

He shrugged his shoulders. Who knew. No one had ever tried pulling a heavy (how much do they weigh?) 70 foot house trailer up a 75 percent grade with a small, older model boom truck before.
“Oh God! This was NOT IN THE PLANS!” I silently cried, “What do we do?”
Dad just shook his head. Mom was still praying.

The guys came up with the idea to get the itty bitty cat back to kinda help push the trailer while the old boom truck pulled. Oh boy, now THAT sounded like a good plan!

So one more night, what was that, three? was spent on the driveway. The cat still hadn’t shown up (he took off like a shot when I let him out the first night) the dog was beginning to adjust to the new place and Stephen caught the bus at the new stop that morning. Mom said she was praying. Jim, who missed a day falling trees, did some sweet talking to our friend with the cat (-a-pillar) and I was beseeching my Lord on my knees. “Oh God we need You. Please, please help us! Lift that trailer up and put it where You want it to be.”

The old boom truck arrived, the itty bitty cat came, today was the day. It was do or die. Get it up to the spot or live in the driveway.

The first order of things was to have the cat push the trailer back down the driveway a few feet so the boom truck could get a run at the hill. So the itty bitty cat that could, chugged and smoked and dug it’s tracks in and pushed the trailer ten feet or so down the hill. Yea! The cat that could DID!

Then they hooked the old boom truck, that was determined, to the trailer hitch being careful NOT to drop it this time, and the cat was positioned behind the trailer with blade against the frame. Now the trick, the truck driver said, was for the little cat to keep up with the trailer since he was going to goose the old truck as fast as it would go to get up that darn hill!

Oh my gosh! I asked Jim if this was a good idea and he asked me if I had a better one. Pray! I said. He agreed. Mom was praying. “Wendy!” She yelled as I stood there with my hands covering my face. “Pray!”

Oh yeah, by this time I was praying. Forget the plans, forget our own self sufficiency, forget trusting in trucks and cats and preparation. Forget all of that! It was God, our Heavenly Father and only God who could keep my home from crashing into the trees! And put it somewhere. Anywhere fairly level, would do!

Well the ancient boom truck roared. I had to look. Tires spun, gravel flew, the trailer jerked forward. The truck that was determined flew up the hill, pulling that big ole trailer behind.

The itty bitty cat that could, well it chugged and smoked and dug it’s tracks in, but it couldn’t keep up. The old truck that was determined, roared and spun and tried it’s best, but it’s best was not enough. Half way up the hill it died. Now the cat that could was supposed to be pushing, but it was fifty feet behind.

Seventy feet of heavy house trailer rolled backwards down that steep incline. Right at the itty bitty cat. And wow did that cat look little! The friend on the cat, whose eyes were as big as saucers, envisioned the cat busting right through the back wall of the trailer. But he was good. He adjusted the blade just right. The trailer hit with a bang and a great shudder, but the blade was on the frame and it held. The itty bitty cat that could did!

Or was that God who could? Was it God who adjusted that blade just right? I’ll give you a good ole, North Dakota “You betcha!” for that! There were angels standing back there who caught that trailer with their hands. No doubt!

The old boom truck roared and spun and pulled, the itty bitty cat chugged and smoked and dug and up the hill they went. Together! I could swear I saw those angels pushing that little cat and pulling the old truck. Right to the top they went. Right to the level spot we had prepared so carefully. And stopped.

“Praise the Lord!” Mom yelled over the roar and the chug! The friend on the cat pumped his fists and pointed to the sky and the truck driver honked his horn. Dad nodded his head and grinned. I ran up that hill and danced around my home, yelling, “Thank you Jesus!”

Jim stood still and bowed his head.

“Is that good enough?” the truck driver asked. We all looked. The back of the trailer was hanging a bit over the hill, but the tires were on level ground. It wasn’t turned the way we planned, but it was there! Good view of the trees from the living room window and a view of the valley out the bedroom.

“Good enough.” Jim said. And that was that. Except it’s not the end of the story.

A few weeks later the power company came out to hook up the electricity. Things move a bit slow in Plains Montana, but we were fine with an outhouse, packing water and using lanterns. Been there done that before. The propane was hooked up for the stove so we could cook.

That night after the power was hooked up we turned on the lights in the living room and the lights in the kitchen went on too. In fact all the lights in the trailer went on. Even when the switches were off the lights glowed softly. Weird, strange. Jim went out to check the box. Oh I might add it rained after we got the trailer moved so the ground was wet. When Jim reached up to open the door on the box, he had a strong feeling not to touch it. So strong, he dropped his arm.

He called a friend who was a retired electrician and he came out and checked the power coming into the house. I can’t remember the numbers but it was way more power, like double, running through the house then it should be. He told us not to touch anything and we called the power company who came right out and turned off the power. Come to find out they had hooked it up wrong to the box. They said if Jim would have touched that box he would have been fried, especially with the wet ground.

I realized every last thing we planned, that I had counted on happening, did not happen. Not the way I figured it would. That’s when I knew my plans are nothing. I am just a vapor that is here and gone. I am nothing. God is everything!

He protected my home. He kept my husband from harm. He orchestrated every crazy move, every winding turn. My Heavenly Father, the Creator, moved that trailer, not me, not my plans, but His hands carried it and set it in place, backwards yes, but there nevertheless.

Do I rejoice in my presumptions? Sometimes still, but after more lessons, not so much. Do I trust my plans? Not on your life! I have found my plans mean very little. It is not wrong to plan. Planning is necessary, planning is natural, planning is okay.

“The preparations of the heart belong to a man.” Preparations, plans, dreams, hopes belong in my heart, they are normal.

“But the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” I can plan but the Lord has the answers. He knows the way I need to go.

“Roll your works onto the Lord and Your thoughts will be established.” Pr. 16:1-3 Give Him my plans, my doings, my life and my thoughts will be made steady, inline, not wavering. The Amplified Bible says, “He will cause your thoughts to be agreeable to His will.”

Planning is okay but I need to always put God in the plan. Plan. Roll it on Him. Leave it. Know He is God.

“Instead you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will we will live and do this or that.’ As it is you boast in your presumptions and your self-conceit. All such boasting is wrong.”
King James says, “But now ye rejoice in your boastings. Such rejoicing is evil.” James 4:15-16

Lord help me not to rejoice in my plans, not to trust my presumptions but to always trust You and You alone.

Mom and Stephen at Mom and Dad's spot

Mom and Stephen at Mom and Dad’s spot

Moving our trailer

Moving our trailer

View of Mt. Baldy from the property

View of Mt. Baldy from the property

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